The hard work of building soft skills

Social networking, communication, negotiation, conveying the right attitude - lawyers need all of these 'softer' skills to complement their hard-earned legal expertise and analytical intelligence. Like any other skill, these abilities can be improved by conscious effort.

'Soft' or 'people' skills are as crucial to establishing a legal career as top qualifications or intelligence. The importance of these latter attributes has long been emphasised, but raw legal competence alone is not enough to become a successful lawyer. Your legal career will depend on your ability to build good relationships. Lawyers need to win clients and keep them, while they must also accumulate useful contacts and nurture positive relationships with their colleagues and management. This fact may seem straightforward and undeserving of your continued attention, but nearly all of us have at least one weakness, big or small, in our people skills. Most of us will also have worked with a difficult colleague or manager and seen the effects of poor soft skills first hand. The importance of these attributes is heightened for lawyers, for whom building and maintaining client relationships is one of their most important jobs. Even barristers, who often work alone, must be able to sustain good relationships with their clients and the clerks who assign their cases, while all lawyers will sometimes have to work under pressure and deal with potential stress-related tension between colleagues.

Let's therefore look at the skills that you can't demonstrate in a written exam, but will need to possess in order to ensure the fulfilment of your legal ambitions.

First impressions

You will go through many introductions as you pursue your legal career and will need to get off to the best possible start. Not all people enjoy having to speak to strangers in the pressurised setting of a networking event or interview, but approaching the situation in the right frame of mind can help you to overcome any nerves. If you are worried, just remember that many people will feel the same as you and that no one can actually stare into your soul and 'see your fear'.

However, people can read your body language, so you need to use this positively to appear friendly and relaxed - resist any nervous urge to overcompensate. When you first meet people, make eye contact and smile, and maintain eye contact when speaking or being spoken to. If you're working your way into a group conversation, make sure that you make eye contact with everyone for a couple of seconds each when you are speaking, to include them in what you are saying. Don't stand with your arms crossed over your chest - although some people find that this is just a comfortable way to stand, it's often seen by others as a defensive, closed posture. As a conversation progresses and you get more used to these situations, you will naturally relax, gain confidence and be yourself more.

Communication

The key to good written and verbal communication is clarity. People should be able to instantly understand what you are saying or writing, so keep your sentences simple and uncluttered. Don't interrupt others when they are speaking to you or your group, and look at the speaker to clearly show that you are paying attention. Don't just spend the moments when others are talking thinking about what you want to say; try to engage with the points that other people in the conversation are making. It's fine to disagree with others, but you should always maintain a high level of courtesy in a formal/professional situation. Acknowledge the salient aspects of the other person's argument and make your own points in a positive, constructive way. Also remember to keep colloquial language (eg, "cool", "mate", "being a lawyer must smash it") to a minimum.

When writing, avoid using long, technical terms unless you really know what they mean - many people make the mistake of using obscure words in the wrong context in an attempt to sound intelligent. The Economist's much-respected style guide advises that, when writing, you should avoid annoying rhetorical flourishes and try to use the language of everyday speech as much as possible. Again, avoid colloquialisms, worn-out metaphors (eg, "making a splash", "turning the tide" and "floating an idea") and clichéd, unnecessary phrases (eg, "at the end of the day" and "when all's said and done").

Empathy

It is important to be able to understand and appreciate others' points of view, both in the social and professional aspects of your burgeoning legal career. Negotiation, conflict resolution and the ability to convince others of your argument's merits are essential skills in both lawyering and civilian life, and all require empathy. A glance at the Daily Mail shows that empathy does not come naturally to some people; sometimes it has to be worked at. This often involves questioning your initial opinion, which is frequently hardened by emotion, and attempting to be calm and objective in the knowledge that we are all imperfect. You should also remember that ridicule or aggression will almost always worsen a disagreement, as has no doubt been proven by your own reactions when that line of argument is employed against you.

Empathy, in short, is good for your career prospects and general happiness. If you are treated unreasonably or inconsiderately by a colleague, friend or manager on occasion, you will find it more useful to reject the urge to become angry in favour of considering the pressures that might be causing that person's behaviour - very few people are at their best all the time. This doesn't mean that you should accept sustained bad treatment by another person, but you may find a more effective resolution with a sympathetic, reasoned response than by drawing battle lines yourself.

Dress

Dress appropriately for your environment and remember that it's fine to ask in advance if you're unsure of the dress code. If you're going to be speaking to potential employers, colleagues or clients, it's usually best to dress smartly and exercise a little restraint. Keep it relatively simple (maybe it's just us, but those coloured shirts with white collars tend to make the wearer look like a sleazy 80s stock broker). And remember Coco Chanel's advice to always take off the last thing that you put on before leaving the house - unless that was somehow your top, of course. If you're feeling unsure and don't want to take your sartorial cue from LC.N, ask your wiser friends and relatives for advice on dressing for a professional engagement.

Attitude

Your clothes, body language, writing and conversation should all contribute to the presentation of yourself as a professional, yet approachable, interesting and friendly person with whom others get along. But this will have little lasting effect without a sustained positive attitude in your actions and behaviour, not just your words and looks. To this end, it's important to show a willingness to take part in social events and other activities (eg, when starting a training contract or taking part in business development events). This shows that you are not just there to take home your pay and that you are committed, enthusiastic and (importantly) not boring.

An outgoing, positive approach will also help you to forge friendships, which are a great part of working life for their own sake, but can also help to advance your professional aims. You are much more likely to enjoy a happy and collegiate working life, as well as access to exciting opportunities, if you are a liked and respected colleague. Conversely, a Machiavellian approach will have unintended repercussions for all but the most cunning sociopaths, so refrain from joining in with cliques or cruel gossip. Always remember that the rewards are greater with a proactive, positive approach to your colleagues, your work and achieving your aims.

This article also appeared in the JLD Update newsletter of 8 March 2013.