Balancing the scales – how to get the right mix of legal career and family life

Speak to most legal professionals and chances are, they will have experienced a situation like this: It’s been a busy day. You had to stay an extra hour or two, but your commute is at an end and you’re walking through your front door. You’re exhausted, and in need of a good night’s rest, but you’re confident you’ve just about managed to tie up any loose ends that were tangling you up during the day.

Just as you go to put your feet up, your phone vibrates. You can’t resist the urge to check – it might be urgent. You pull your phone out and – yes – it’s urgent. Work calls, so you pick your feet back up and get ready to settle into another couple of hours of graft, but this time at the kitchen table. 

Due to the rise of the mobile phone and technologies that make flexible working easy, this sort of scenario has become very common. The 2020 Modern Families Index found just recently that 44% of parents check their emails or do other work at night. And of those, around 75% said they did not have a choice. For some, this isn’t really a problem. Perhaps they’re ambitious, eager to go above and beyond, and don’t mind taking a few extra hours out of the evening. After all, what’s the harm?

But what happens when you introduce children into the mix? This was the crossroads I came to in my legal career. Back in 2017, I was working as senior legal counsel for one of the world’s largest oil and gas service companies. I loved the work – it was fast-paced and challenging – but my personal picture changed. I started to feel that I was spending too much time away from my young children and was faced with a hard decision. I loved my career, had spent years of hard slog to get to where I was and, not just that, I felt I was reaching the pinnacle. But after a lot of thought and consideration (and a stressful night spent stuck in Heathrow airport with no emergency childcare in place), I decided I had to leave it behind me and take a leap of faith, with nothing else lined up.

Life has a funny way of throwing opportunities your way though. I bumped into one of my former associates who had taken a route into freelance lawyering. I decided to give it a try and, after going through a stringent application process, was accepted by the same company she worked for, Vario.

If you’re in a legal career, you may well find yourself at a similar crossroads in a few years’ time. You may even be at that crossroads right now. And when I felt I needed a change, there were a few things I know now which I wish I’d known back then:

1. Check your options – look beyond what you already know.

In such a high-pressure sector as law, people can easily tunnel-vision. The studies are tough going, the work itself is tough going and before you know it, you can be years into a role that’s not quite right for you just because you had to ‘keep moving’.

But your legal career doesn’t have to be a one-track path. In fact, different personality types suit different types of legal career. Those who enjoy larger teams and juggling multiple clients, for example, will find private-practice work appealing. Those who enjoy working in a slightly smaller team and getting to know one specific business inside-out will enjoy all the intricacies of in-house. And those who are looking for flexibility and enjoy the challenge of being financially independent can thrive in a freelance role.

I know what it feels like to be deterred from making any major changes to your career because of the fear of the unknown, but if you do your research then you can be quick off the mark when the time comes to make a move. The last thing you want is to be frozen by indecision at the time in your life you most need the change. There may well be alternative work scenarios out there that are better suited to you at certain times in your career.

2. Make no mistake – stress and legal careers don’t have to go hand-in-hand!

Law is a profession that attracts high-performers and people with disciplined work ethics. It’s the nature of the job, and it’s obviously great that so many talented, hard-working individuals are striving to do good work for their clients. But working in such an intense, competitive environment can bring issues – it creates a culture where ‘switching off’ and knowing the boundaries between work and home life become secondary. 

Take it from me, it is possible to do high-quality legal work without being subject to intense pressures and an ‘always-switched-on’ culture. I found I was able to do this through freelancing – but whatever option suits you best, don’t believe anyone who tells you that stress and constant over-work is an unavoidable part of the job. Just because some people are capable of working that way, it doesn’t mean that’s the right structure of job for you (and it’s ok to say that, honestly). 

3. Speak to your employer – you never know what they can offer you

It can be a difficult conversation to have, but when you think you may need to leave your career behind to focus on other things, speak to your employer about it. We’re lucky that nowadays topics like flexible working, mental health and workplace cultures are in the headlines and are often near the top of the boardroom agenda. Chances are, you won’t be the first one to ask and alternative structures may already exist. 

Everybody’s paths are different and, for some people, an employer offering a slightly tweaked role with better flexible working might be all they need. They may not need to jump ship altogether. For me, although my employer was very supportive and did offer alternatives, I knew after my night at Heathrow Airport that I needed a complete change of environment for any change to be effective.

4. Don’t be afraid to take the leap

Most importantly of all, have confidence to put your hands up and say: “This isn’t working for me anymore.” Accepting that your priorities have shifted and having the courage to promote your value to an organisation in a different format is the first step to finding the right balance between your career and other areas of life that are important to you.

Emma Sinclair is a contract lawyer through Pinsent Masons’ Vario.